The 11th commandment.

The commandment of exs, aptly named the 11^th commandment by my friend. In her opinion, all exs are STRICTLY out of bound. You are not to touch these exs, not even with a ten foot pole.

In the girl world, there is an unspoken law that exs of friends not to talk of siblings are out of bound. This same rule applies to chykers of siblings. This rule is not written anywhere and cannot be found anywhere. It is a lawyou are meant to obey without even being told about it. In law, ignorance of the law is not an excuse, same logic can be applied here right, lol. It is something that you are born knowing, you just know this instinctively. The opposite can be said in the boy world, where the ex of a friend or sibling becomes fair game, she becomes a mission to some of them. It becomes a game to see how many members of the gang can woo and get her into bed; the first one to do that becomes a mighty conqueror, until the cycle begins again and he is dethroned or wins again.

I knew of a girl who made it a habit to ‘steal’ exs and chykers of friends. Well one day she got what she had been stupidly looking for when she got a surprise hot (very) water bath from one of her friends. Let’s just say she settled down pretty quickly after that. I don’t support her friend’s method, but it sure taught her the lesson she ought to have learnt in her mama’s womb.

Making this law of strict application is rather drastic in my opinion. Come on, we can’t help who we fall in love with right? Like with the law, there is an exception for every general rule. The exception in this case in my opinion is DISCLOSURE. Yup, disclosure. When you approach you friend or sister about this ex or chyker you suddenly developed feelings for, then in my opinion you can carry on the relationship. Some friends or sisters may not be happy about it, some may out rightly forbid it, some may be cool with it, some may come around, some may never approve. What is important here is that they had fore knowledge about it, you don’t just spring that as a surprise at your pool party and expect to go home without ‘drinking small pool water’, lol.

Like I said we can’t help who we fall in love with, but we can make sure our love has a smooth ride, trust me it would be a bumpy ride if you have that on your mind throughout the relationship. I know of a girl that was in this position, her best friend had date this dude for about three years, but they had a bumpy relationship and broke up, not that it matters right. Four years down the line, girl meets bestie’s ex and they become friendly again after losing touch. The moment she noticed it was becoming more than just friends, she lets bestie know, bestie pretentiously grants her permission but is unhappy about it. This girl is happily married now with baby number three on the way, so tell me; in your opinion should she have stayed away from him because he was bestie’s ex?

11th commandment or not, just make sure you make a full disclosure.